How to Prepare for a Church Meeting

Posted on Jun 9, 2023 by Daniel Kriss in Church, Conflict, Fellowship, General, Leadership, Pastor, Unity |

 How to Prepare for a Church Meeting

Counsel for the Faithful Church Member

 

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 2:3-5)

Church meetings invoke all kinds of feelings. For some, the thought of attending a congregational meeting is cause for great consternation and inward distress. Perhaps these people have been involved in church divisions in the past or have experienced deep hurt at the hands of fellow-believers, and the thought of reliving that experience is overwhelming. Others embrace these meetings as an opportunity to push their own agendas or correct those in leadership. Some attend out of obligation, approaching church matters half-heartedly, and simply cannot wait get home and back into “ordinary life.” Hopefully, these examples above do not describe your approach to church meetings or resonate with your thinking patterns!

Preparing for a church meeting requires preparation. That may sound a little redundant, but it seems that very few church members actively prepare for having spiritual discussions and making decisions in the Lord’s church.

When a person decides to buy a new appliance, they often pore over catalogues, look up Google reviews, seek advice from friends, compare pricing, and even go to a showroom to test a working model before making their final purchase. However, that very same person who may be the most avid investigator of mod cons, and incredibly frugal with their money, does not approach spiritual matters with the same attitude. This is a very disturbing trend in the church today, and it is a sad commentary on the spiritual immaturity of our assemblies.

So then, how should the committed Christian prepare for a church meeting? The same way he prepares for everyday life as a Christian – with humility, dependence, love, and a Christlike attitude.[1]

Ultimately, the moment a church meeting is announced, the faithful church member should not have to change anything in his personal life or attitude, because he is already walking with the Spirit and keeping short accounts with God.[2]

However, we all know that this is not true all of the time. To help the struggling Christian (all of us) in approaching a church meeting with the right attitude and preparation, consider the following biblical commands and principles:

  1. Prayer [3]
    1. Pray for yourself. Ask the Lord to prepare your heart, to reveal sin, to strengthen your faith, to produce humility and submission, to supply wisdom for right decision-making, to expose faulty thinking patterns, to uncover evil thoughts and motives, to bring to light any forms of bitterness, resentment, or anger against a fellow believer.[4]
    2. Pray for those in leadership. Ask the Lord to grant them excellent wisdom and insight, clarity of thought and communication, a spirit of meekness and gentleness, the boldness to do what is right, the grace to lead, and the power to govern aright.[5]
    3. Pray for the church. Ask the Lord to build the church, to sift the church, to refine the church, to strengthen its biblical resolve, to deepen its worship, to bring peace and unity through the truth, to admonish the idle, to encourage the fainthearted, to help the weak, to discipline the unrepentant, to have an effective witness in the community.[6]
  2. Mind Renewal
    1. If the church member is to assist in making wise and godly decisions for the church, he must know God’s mind on things.[7] This is where reading the Bible regularly and faithfully is important. Since wisdom is God’s perspective on any matter, and the Bible is God’s Word, it is incumbent on the Christian to bring his thinking into alignment with the Scriptures.[8] A church member who is not in the Word should not be involved in decision-making in the church.
  3. Humility
    1. Christlikeness demands humility.[9] The entire thinking pattern of a believer is to be that which mimics His Master’s. Pride, selfish ambition, arrogance, and conceit are not the way of godliness, and must be decisively amputated before the Christian is involved in voting and setting direction for the church.[10]
  4. Self-Evaluation
    1. Understanding the nature of our own hearts and our predisposition toward evil is an essential step on the path to spiritual maturity.[11] Imminent Church meetings and discussions are a great opportunity to be reminded that left to ourselves we will be like those “believers” of James 4 who were marked by quarrels, unbridled passions, anger, murder, hatred, idolatry, pride, self-adulation, and doublemindedness.
    2. The faithful church member will make time for self-evaluation in the light of the Scriptures.[12] He will inspect his own eye for fragments of sin and rebellion before attending a meeting where the eyes of others may need to be scrutinised.[13] He will inspect his own fruit to ensure there are not sour grapes in his own cluster before judging the fruit of others.[14]
  5. Submission & Relationships
    1. In the Christian life, there are different spheres of authority, and each are to be honoured, loved, obeyed, and prayed for.[15] In preparing for a church meeting, it is important that the faithful church member takes time to analyse his relationship and obedience to the God-ordained authorities in his life. This of course begins with God, but it does not end there. Thought must be given to the role of submission in his biological family, the government, the workplace, and of vital importance, the church leadership. Too many Christians willingly submit to laws of the land, but somehow think it is right to live outside, or kick against, the authority of the local church.
    2. Due consideration must also be given to the quality and nature of the faithful church member’s personal relationships. This includes but is not limited to his marriage, children, family, friends, individual brothers and sisters in Christ, and the church as a whole.[16]
    3. A man who is not living under authority in his own life and/or not maintaining biblically based relationships, has no right to cast a vote in the church of God. First, he must address the issues of his own heart, reconcile with those he has wronged, and then he will be in a position to serve as a faithful church member.[17]
  6. The Search for Truth
    1. Having attended to these matters mentioned afore, the faithful church member is now in a position to consider properly the items outlined on the meeting agenda. His responsibility is to read, pray, and consider what has been presented to him. Since no matter is insignificant or trivial in God’s Kingdom, the faithful church member sets out to familiarise himself with what the Scriptures have to say about said matters.[18]
    2. Whilst the faithful church member may not be scholarly in the study of God’s Word, he recognises the importance of becoming familiar with the precepts and principles related to the subjects in question. His desire here is not to demonstrate his knowledge of a particular subject before the congregation, but to conform his own thinking, and that of his family’s, to that which is revealed in the Word of God. In order to gain a fuller understanding of the subject matter, the faithful church member may enlist the help of godly authors, listen to sermons, or speak with trusted Bible teachers.[19]

This brings to a close the responsibilities of faithful church members before attending a congregational meeting.

Now, let me briefly outline the manner, conduct, and etiquette of a faithful church member during a congregational meeting.

  1. Be prayerful.[20]
  2. Be quick to hear; slow to speak.[21]
  3. Speak graciously, gently, slowly, and truthfully.[22]
  4. Guard your heart, motives, feelings, and attitude.[23]
  5. Speak the truth plainly and lovingly.[24]
  6. Be courteous, well-mannered, and modest.[25]
  7. Be bold in asking questions and seeking clarification.[26]
  8. Be excited and full of cheer when godly motions are raised.[27]
  9. Be careful to not betray a person’s trust or confidentiality.[28]
  10. Operate with empathy and care when painful matters are raised.[29]
  11. Be interested and engaged in every part of the meeting.[30]
  12. Demonstrate support and excitement (where appropriate and right).[31]
  13. Seek unity and peace.[32]
  14. Be an example of Christ in word and deed.[33]
  15. Be available to take on responsibility in accordance with your time and talents.[34]
In closing, church life, like family life, is seasonal. There are times of great ease and enjoyment; there are times of increase and blessing; there are times of tragedy, trial, and tribulation; there are times of warfare, injury, pain, and loss; there are times of plenty and times of famine.[35]

Whether your church is enjoying the “green meadows of tranquillity” or “staring down the barrel of a gun,” it is important to remember that faithful church members play an essential role in the local church and its direction. These responsibilities are not conferred by the church, but by Jesus Christ Himself, who chose you for salvation, and appointed you to serve as a member of a local body.[36]

Are you ready for the next church meeting?

[1] 1 John 2:6; Ephesians 5:1-2

[2] Galatians 5:25; Ephesians 5:8

[3] Luke 18:1; 1 Thessalonians 5:17

[4] Psalm 139:23-34; James 1:5; 2 Chronicles 7:14; Matthew 26:41; Colossians 1:9-11; Psalm 32:5

[5] Acts 14:23; 1 Peter 5:1-3; 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13; Titus 1:9; Proverbs 27:23-24; Hebrews 13:17

[6] Ephesians 2:20-22; Colossians 3:16; Romans 16:17; Hebrews 10:23-25; 1 Timothy 3:15; Acts 9:31; 1 Corinthians 1:10

[7] Romans 8:5; 1 Corinthians 2:12

[8] Romans 12:2; Psalm 119:130

[9] Philippians 2:1-5; Colossians 3:12; Micah 6:8

[10] James 4:1-6; Romans 12:16; Job 11:14; Colossians 3:5-6

[11] Jeremiah 17:9; Romans 7:18; Ephesians 2:1-3; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

[12] Haggai 1:7; Psalm 32:5; Lamentations 3:40

[13] Matthew 7:3-5

[14] Luke 3:8; Matthew 7:16-20; James 3:17-18

[15] Romans 13:1; Hebrews 13:17; 1 Peter 2:13; Titus 3:1; 1 Corinthians 11:3

[16] Colossians 3:18-19; Ephesians 5:33; 1 Timothy 5:18; 1 Corinthians 15:33; Matthew 5:23

[17] Ephesians 5:21; Matthew 5:24; Mark 11:25; Matthew 18:15

[18] 2 Kings 19:14; Joshua 1:8; Acts 17:11; Matthew 22:29; 2 Timothy 2:15; Matthew 6:33

[19] Proverbs 12:15; Proverbs 24:6; Proverbs 28:26; Proverbs 13:20; Acts 18:24-26

[20] Philippians 4:6

[21] James 1:19

[22] Ephesians 4:29; Proverbs 16:24; Proverbs 15:4; Psalm 34:13

[23] Proverbs 4:23; Philippians 2:3; 1 Timothy 1:5; Proverbs 29:11; 2 Corinthians 10:5

[24] Ephesians 4:15; Ephesians 4:25; 1 John 3:18; Zechariah 8:16

[25] Titus 3:2; Romans 12:10; Colossians 4:6; Philippians 4:5

[26] Proverbs 28:1; 2 Timothy 1:7; 1 Corinthians 16:13

[27] Psalm 40:16; Isaiah 55:11-12

[28] Proverbs 11:13; Proverbs 25:9; Proverbs 16:28

[29] 1 Peter 3:8; Galatians 6:2; 1 Corinthians 12:26; Colossians 3:12

[30] Proverbs 4:25; 1 Peter 1:13

[31] Romans 15:5-6; Philippians 1:27; 2 Corinthians 13:11

[32] 1 Corinthians 1:10; Ephesians 4:3; Colossians 3:14; Romans 14:19

[33] 1 Timothy 4:12; Philippians 3:17; 1 Corinthians 11:1; Ephesians 5:1-2

[34] 1 Peter 4:10; Romans 12:11; 1 Corinthians 15:58

[35]  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

[36] 1 Thessalonians 1:4; 1 Corinthians 12:18


Pastor or Pope? An Article on Pastoral Abuse

Posted on Mar 24, 2021 by Daniel Kriss in Abuse, Church, Issues, Pastor, Preaching, Shepherding |

The subject at hand is extremely controversial, and the ramifications of such an article will no doubt cause me open contempt, disrespect, and possibly the label of ‘heretic.’ Despite this, I cannot stay silent. It is necessary, yea vital, to present readers with a biblical perspective on the role and authority of the Pastor, especially in light of an increase in what can only be described as pastoral  abuse.  

The Roman Catholic religion has long been known for its ability to manipulate its members through fear and threats, allowing those in leadership to effectively control the people and their commitment to the cause. The power associated with the pope is beyond belief. Masses submit to his every wish, convinced that to disobey or even disagree, is to fight against God Himself. A similar ploy has entered into some conservative churches of our land. In these settings, the pastor will exalt himself to a place of power and inerrancy, demanding the allegiance of his people instead of turning their hearts toward God and promoting His sovereignty and authority.

All Men are Sinners

It does not matter how ‘good’ your pastor or church leadership may appear; all have sinned. There are pastors today who act as if they have reached the state of sinless perfection, and therefore represent the perfect example of holiness and wisdom. This is simply not true.

The shepherd does not gain some special entrance into the presence of God; He comes before the same throne of grace as all believers, and through the same person – Jesus Christ. He may preach from an elevated platform on Sunday but that is not an indication of spiritual superiority in God’s hierarchy. Pastors who seek the praise and accolades of men are not fit to fulfil the shepherd’s role. Surely a man who is perpetually broken over his sin and who has an understanding of the holiness of God, is the only suitable candidate for leading and shepherding God’s people.

‘…there is none that doeth good, no, not one.’ Psalm 14:3

‘Who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin?’ Prov.20:9

‘If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.’ 1 John 1:8
 

The Church is Christ’s

‘…Christ is the head of the church: and is the Saviour of the body.’ Ephesians 5:23

 ‘And He [Christ] is before all things, and by Him all things consist. And He is the head of the body, the church…’ Colossians 1:17-18

‘And hath put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be the head over all things to the church.’ Ephesians 1:22

If Scriptures were not so clear on this subject, I might be confused about who has the ultimate ownership and rule of the church. The way some pastors enthrone themselves, establishing non-biblical standards, and assuming the role of ‘Pope for the people,’ is appalling, and is in total opposition to the clearly outlined role of the shepherd in the Bible. To assume a role of authority in  Christ’s church that has not been given by God, is theft. If I instruct my congregation to obey standards and practices that God has not commanded, I become the ‘master of God’s people,’ and in turn teach them to follow me instead of the Lord.

How many congregations in our land are ruled by a dictatorial, ‘my-way-or-the-highway’ pastor instead of Christ and His Word being the final authorities in their lives?
 

It is the Message, not the Man

‘Remember them that have the rule over you, who  have spoken unto you the Word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation.’ Hebrews 13:7

Commenting on the above verse, John Gill writes: “Christ’s church is a kingdom, and He is King in it; pastors of churches are subordinate governors; who rule well when they rule not in an arbitrary way, according to their own wills, but according to the laws of Christ, with all faithfulness, prudence and diligence.”

 The pastor, like you and I, is a man saved by grace. He has not been imbued with some special ability (albeit there are gifts dispensed by the Holy Spirit which differ – Romans 12:6), nor does he have some supernatural power over men which is of his own energy.

The shepherd finds his authority solely in the Word of God. His counselling and preaching must be grounded in the Scriptures if he is to serve in the way that God has called him to. The pastor is a man who is to be given to prayer and the studying of the Word. I know pastors who busy themselves with all the tangible and temporal aspects of church life when they ought to be focusing on the spiritual and eternal matters at hand. The  first and most important job of the faithful shepherd is to preach the Word . He is to passionately pursue God, thereby leaving an example for his people. The following ought to form the pastor’s chief ambition and desire:

‘He must increase, but I must decrease.’ John 3:30

‘For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.’ Philippians 1:21
 

The Pastor will fail you

Nobody is exempt from the effects of sin. One of the great dilemmas in church today is the expectation on the pastor to do everything right. If the congregation is not careful to remember that the shepherd is only a man, they will inevitably and subconsciously elevate him to a place of  ‘perfection.’ This will be the great downfall of that church and will result in heartache and discouragement when it is found out that the pastor cannot meet those impossible expectations. This does not give license to the pastor to live as he pleases, but it does remove from him the unattainable standard of perfection. A humble and honest leader will acknowledge his own inability to perform his God given role, and will openly admit that he is the chief of sinners,  and unworthy of such a responsibility.

‘It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.’ Psalm 118:8

‘Thus saith the Lord; cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord.’ Jeremiah 17:5

 ‘…the Lord thy God…..He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Deuteronomy 31:6
 

Conclusion

Scripture teaches that God desires a pastor to lead by example, nurturing and caring for his people. When the time comes for him to discipline, confront and challenge, his only authority is  the Word of God, and only when as it is applied correctly. 
 
May God give us pastors who love Christ supremely, act with honesty, humility and integrity, lead by example, and find the basis of all preaching, teaching and counselling  in the pages of Scripture.

An Open Letter to the Wife of the Pastor

Posted on Feb 26, 2020 by Daniel Kriss in Family, Ministry, Pastor, Wives |

Dear Wife of the Pastor,.

You are an unsung hero in the church! Rarely is your exceptional ministry noticed, let alone commended. I am writing to you because you need regular encouragement, and most Christians are unaware of your unique burdens, trials, and the strain that your husband’s ministry places upon you.

Please be assured of the fact that your labour is not in vain in the Lord,[1] and in due course you will be rewarded if you faint not.[2]

This personal note is written to remind you about the truths of your ministry at home and your involvement in the local church. These have been organised into five different headings so that the points are clearly defined and easy to follow.

May this letter encourage you and help your church to pray and support you most effectively. You are loved; you are appreciated; you will be rewarded.

YOU ARE THE WIFE OF THE PASTOR NOT “THE PASTOR’S WIFE”

How often have you been called “The Pastor’s Wife” despite the fact that no such title exists in the Bible? Well-meaning people raise you to a place of prominence because of your husband’s responsibilities, but they do not realise that you were never called to the ministry. 

What churches often fail to see is that the pastorate is not the responsibility of a man and his wife. In fact, the Bible has nothing to say about one who is married to a pastor except that which relates to all Christian wives. When assemblies elevate the wife of a pastor, they are unknowingly setting her up for failure because of the unachievable (and unbiblical) expectations they place upon her. She is not an office-bearer in the church and must be protected from being viewed in this position.

Perhaps the greatest danger associated with assigning an unbiblical title is that she will lose her unique, God-given identity. She is not seen for who she really is, but for what is expected of her. Her temperament, talents, and individuality are held hostage by perceptions of her ministry. This leads to great anguish of spirit and if left unattended, may result in serious mental health issues.

YOU MAY NOT HAVE THE SAME SPIRITUAL GIFTS

Sadly, most Christians expect the wife of the pastor to possess the full gamut of spiritual gifts so that she can speak eloquently at women’s conventions, organise special church events, counsel women effectively, provide outstanding food, plan and coordinate the creche ministry, be constantly given to hospitality, and always filled with joy and energy. This is simply not the case. In fact, it seems like there is greater expectation these days placed upon the wife of the pastor than the pastor himself.

You must remember that you are first and foremost a wife. Whether or not you are gifted to teach is a secondary matter, and this must be remembered by the church. Practically speaking, this means that your primary responsibility is to manage the home and be submissive to your husband.[3]

Every Christian has been given at least one spiritual gift,[4] and this includes you, but the church must be very careful that you receive the same treatment as all people in the assembly. It is important that you are afforded the privilege of discovering what your particular area of service is, rather than being shaped by the expectations of others on account of your connection to the pastor.

YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY IN THE CHURCH

Some ladies who are married to a pastor revel in their “derived authority”, whilst others shudder at the thought of having to make decisions in the church. On either end of this scale there is a spiritual misunderstanding. The Scriptures make it clear that only biblically qualified men in the local church are conferred any authority, and this leadership has very specific commands and guidelines.[5]

YOU NEED PRAYER AND SUPPORT

Although you may not have been called into the ministry in the same way your husband was, you have been given a very unique and challenging area of service. Most of your ministry is not seen by the public, and the majority of the struggles are behind closed doors. Listening to your husband’s daily interactions, offering love and support to him when he is discouraged, and “lending” him to the church many nights each week are just some of the burdens you face on a regular basis.  By its very nature, your ministry is fraught with loneliness and often means that it is difficult to maintain close friendships with ladies in the church. On top of this, you must be ready at a moment’s notice to have people in your home who need counselling from your husband. Even date nights and time that is set aside for relaxing together can be interrupted when serious matters arise. If your husband is not fully supported by the church and outside work is required, this presents another dimension to an already complicated life which you must come to terms with.

Many people pray for their pastor and so they should.[6] However, most neglect to pray for the wife of the pastor and this is largely because they do not understand where you fit in the local church, and the enormity of your responsibilities at home. It is important that you operate with honesty and humility so that people are educated in how to support you and pray for you. This means that you must share (wisely) the burdens and struggles you face on a weekly basis with carefully selected people.

YOU HAVE A FRONT ROW SEAT IN THE MINISTRY

Most of this letter has been spent correcting misconceptions surrounding your life and ministry. At this point I would like to remind you that you have the unique privilege of a front row seat in the ministry. If you are not careful, you will paint your husband’s ministry in bleak and cheerless colours when in actual fact, it is the highest calling in all the world. To peak behind the curtain a little and to see in greater detail God’s work of sanctification in your local church is an unparalleled joy. Watching your husband- the man of God, study, pray, preach, counsel, and minister to people is a rare and wondrous blessing. To see firsthand how God changes people and to work alongside the servant of the Lord is a sacred and unique responsibility. Don’t let the burdens and hardships rob you of the joy associated with your special calling to be the wife of a pastor.

In Sincere Love and Appreciation,
 

Pastor Daniel Kriss

[1] 1 Corinthians 15:58

[2] Galatians 6:9; 2 Corinthians 5:10

[3] Titus 2:5

[4] 1 Peter 4:10

[5] Refer to 1 Timothy 3:1-7; Titus 1:5-9

[6] 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13

This letter is dedicated to my wife, Jessica, who has served by my side in the ministry for many years


The Pastor

Posted on Jan 13, 2020 by Daniel Kriss in Leadership, Pastor, Poems, Shepherding | Tags: , ,

The pastor is a man at best;

Prone to sin, and oft distressed.

Juggling tasks of wider scope;

Strength from God- his only hope.

 

The pastor leads his precious flock;

Scripture’s treasures to unlock.

Often not from wealthy stock;

Sermons governed by the clock.

 

The pastor has a lonely trade;

Overworked and underpaid.

Church expectations when they hire-

Found alone in the Messiah.

 

The pastor knows a deeper pain;

The burdens are a constant strain.

A shepherd, leader, mentor, mate;

A godly life to demonstrate.

 

The pastor has a family too-

A wife to lead in love that’s true.

Called to manage household well;

Through times of ease or troubled spell.

 

The pastor must discern what’s right;

Whilst guarding soul with gospel light.

In ceaseless battle he does fight;

The Celestial City within sight.

 

The pastor is engaged in prayer;

Sunday’s sermon to prepare.

Distracted time from reading chair;

The needs of others everywhere.

 

The pastor will be judged one day-

His life, the church, and every way.

Before the Lord He’ll give account;

This weighty truth- do not discount!

 

The pastor can dejected be;

Betrayed and blamed unlawfully.

In grace and love he must respond;

The faults and sin he looks beyond.

 

The pastor has such little rest;

Personal struggles oft suppressed.

Holidays and time aside;

By circumstances are denied.

 

The pastor loves you very much;

And does his best to stay in touch.

He walks with you through grief and mirth;

He has the hardest job on earth!

 

By Daniel Kriss, June 12, 2018

(Meditations on the Ministry)

 


The Preacher’s Privilege

Posted on Jan 13, 2020 by Daniel Kriss in Bible Study, Leadership, Pastor, Poems, Preaching, Shepherding | Tags: , , ,

THE SCENE:

The antique desk is beckoning;

Old Saxon wood-fire is crackling;

A charm of magpies warbling;

Sounds and scenes converging.

 

Gum tree leaves are swaying;

Darkened sky is threatening;

The percolator is brewing;

Preacher’s mind awakening.

 

THE WORK

Sheepskin hide: a kneeling post;

Guidance from the Holy Ghost.

The lamp is lit, the quill is wet;

Heart engaged, and mind is set.

 

The gilded pages now are read;

With rays of light, the soul is fed.

Conviction falls like drops of rain;

Cleansing given from every stain.

 

Night about begins to fall;

Noise abates; birds’ final call.

The manuscript is now compiled;

Words and phrases wisely styled.

 

The paperwork is now complete;

Pow’r required from mercy seat.

Now deep into the fearsome night

The devil comes to pick a fight.

 

Sleep evades; The mind beset;

The weary heart tries not to fret.

Preacher strives in vain to rest;

Instead, through prayer, is truly blessed.

 

THE SUMMIT

Sunday morning comes at last!

The battle of the night has passed.

The time has come to pray and sing;

To preach, to lead in worshipping.

 

From peaceful scenes to stirring nights;

From spiritual slopes to lofty heights;

The long and lonesome pilgrimage;

This is the preachers privilege.

 

By Pastor Daniel Kriss (September 7, 2019)

Contemplating the many moods, tones, and scenes surrounding the preacher’s study of God’s Word.

^