How to Prepare for a Church Meeting

 How to Prepare for a Church Meeting

Counsel for the Faithful Church Member

 

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 2:3-5)

Church meetings invoke all kinds of feelings. For some, the thought of attending a congregational meeting is cause for great consternation and inward distress. Perhaps these people have been involved in church divisions in the past or have experienced deep hurt at the hands of fellow-believers, and the thought of reliving that experience is overwhelming. Others embrace these meetings as an opportunity to push their own agendas or correct those in leadership. Some attend out of obligation, approaching church matters half-heartedly, and simply cannot wait get home and back into “ordinary life.” Hopefully, these examples above do not describe your approach to church meetings or resonate with your thinking patterns!

Preparing for a church meeting requires preparation. That may sound a little redundant, but it seems that very few church members actively prepare for having spiritual discussions and making decisions in the Lord’s church.

When a person decides to buy a new appliance, they often pore over catalogues, look up Google reviews, seek advice from friends, compare pricing, and even go to a showroom to test a working model before making their final purchase. However, that very same person who may be the most avid investigator of mod cons, and incredibly frugal with their money, does not approach spiritual matters with the same attitude. This is a very disturbing trend in the church today, and it is a sad commentary on the spiritual immaturity of our assemblies.

So then, how should the committed Christian prepare for a church meeting? The same way he prepares for everyday life as a Christian – with humility, dependence, love, and a Christlike attitude.[1]

Ultimately, the moment a church meeting is announced, the faithful church member should not have to change anything in his personal life or attitude, because he is already walking with the Spirit and keeping short accounts with God.[2]

However, we all know that this is not true all of the time. To help the struggling Christian (all of us) in approaching a church meeting with the right attitude and preparation, consider the following biblical commands and principles:

  1. Prayer [3]
    1. Pray for yourself. Ask the Lord to prepare your heart, to reveal sin, to strengthen your faith, to produce humility and submission, to supply wisdom for right decision-making, to expose faulty thinking patterns, to uncover evil thoughts and motives, to bring to light any forms of bitterness, resentment, or anger against a fellow believer.[4]
    2. Pray for those in leadership. Ask the Lord to grant them excellent wisdom and insight, clarity of thought and communication, a spirit of meekness and gentleness, the boldness to do what is right, the grace to lead, and the power to govern aright.[5]
    3. Pray for the church. Ask the Lord to build the church, to sift the church, to refine the church, to strengthen its biblical resolve, to deepen its worship, to bring peace and unity through the truth, to admonish the idle, to encourage the fainthearted, to help the weak, to discipline the unrepentant, to have an effective witness in the community.[6]
  2. Mind Renewal
    1. If the church member is to assist in making wise and godly decisions for the church, he must know God’s mind on things.[7] This is where reading the Bible regularly and faithfully is important. Since wisdom is God’s perspective on any matter, and the Bible is God’s Word, it is incumbent on the Christian to bring his thinking into alignment with the Scriptures.[8] A church member who is not in the Word should not be involved in decision-making in the church.
  3. Humility
    1. Christlikeness demands humility.[9] The entire thinking pattern of a believer is to be that which mimics His Master’s. Pride, selfish ambition, arrogance, and conceit are not the way of godliness, and must be decisively amputated before the Christian is involved in voting and setting direction for the church.[10]
  4. Self-Evaluation
    1. Understanding the nature of our own hearts and our predisposition toward evil is an essential step on the path to spiritual maturity.[11] Imminent Church meetings and discussions are a great opportunity to be reminded that left to ourselves we will be like those “believers” of James 4 who were marked by quarrels, unbridled passions, anger, murder, hatred, idolatry, pride, self-adulation, and doublemindedness.
    2. The faithful church member will make time for self-evaluation in the light of the Scriptures.[12] He will inspect his own eye for fragments of sin and rebellion before attending a meeting where the eyes of others may need to be scrutinised.[13] He will inspect his own fruit to ensure there are not sour grapes in his own cluster before judging the fruit of others.[14]
  5. Submission & Relationships
    1. In the Christian life, there are different spheres of authority, and each are to be honoured, loved, obeyed, and prayed for.[15] In preparing for a church meeting, it is important that the faithful church member takes time to analyse his relationship and obedience to the God-ordained authorities in his life. This of course begins with God, but it does not end there. Thought must be given to the role of submission in his biological family, the government, the workplace, and of vital importance, the church leadership. Too many Christians willingly submit to laws of the land, but somehow think it is right to live outside, or kick against, the authority of the local church.
    2. Due consideration must also be given to the quality and nature of the faithful church member’s personal relationships. This includes but is not limited to his marriage, children, family, friends, individual brothers and sisters in Christ, and the church as a whole.[16]
    3. A man who is not living under authority in his own life and/or not maintaining biblically based relationships, has no right to cast a vote in the church of God. First, he must address the issues of his own heart, reconcile with those he has wronged, and then he will be in a position to serve as a faithful church member.[17]
  6. The Search for Truth
    1. Having attended to these matters mentioned afore, the faithful church member is now in a position to consider properly the items outlined on the meeting agenda. His responsibility is to read, pray, and consider what has been presented to him. Since no matter is insignificant or trivial in God’s Kingdom, the faithful church member sets out to familiarise himself with what the Scriptures have to say about said matters.[18]
    2. Whilst the faithful church member may not be scholarly in the study of God’s Word, he recognises the importance of becoming familiar with the precepts and principles related to the subjects in question. His desire here is not to demonstrate his knowledge of a particular subject before the congregation, but to conform his own thinking, and that of his family’s, to that which is revealed in the Word of God. In order to gain a fuller understanding of the subject matter, the faithful church member may enlist the help of godly authors, listen to sermons, or speak with trusted Bible teachers.[19]

This brings to a close the responsibilities of faithful church members before attending a congregational meeting.

Now, let me briefly outline the manner, conduct, and etiquette of a faithful church member during a congregational meeting.

  1. Be prayerful.[20]
  2. Be quick to hear; slow to speak.[21]
  3. Speak graciously, gently, slowly, and truthfully.[22]
  4. Guard your heart, motives, feelings, and attitude.[23]
  5. Speak the truth plainly and lovingly.[24]
  6. Be courteous, well-mannered, and modest.[25]
  7. Be bold in asking questions and seeking clarification.[26]
  8. Be excited and full of cheer when godly motions are raised.[27]
  9. Be careful to not betray a person’s trust or confidentiality.[28]
  10. Operate with empathy and care when painful matters are raised.[29]
  11. Be interested and engaged in every part of the meeting.[30]
  12. Demonstrate support and excitement (where appropriate and right).[31]
  13. Seek unity and peace.[32]
  14. Be an example of Christ in word and deed.[33]
  15. Be available to take on responsibility in accordance with your time and talents.[34]
In closing, church life, like family life, is seasonal. There are times of great ease and enjoyment; there are times of increase and blessing; there are times of tragedy, trial, and tribulation; there are times of warfare, injury, pain, and loss; there are times of plenty and times of famine.[35]

Whether your church is enjoying the “green meadows of tranquillity” or “staring down the barrel of a gun,” it is important to remember that faithful church members play an essential role in the local church and its direction. These responsibilities are not conferred by the church, but by Jesus Christ Himself, who chose you for salvation, and appointed you to serve as a member of a local body.[36]

Are you ready for the next church meeting?

[1] 1 John 2:6; Ephesians 5:1-2

[2] Galatians 5:25; Ephesians 5:8

[3] Luke 18:1; 1 Thessalonians 5:17

[4] Psalm 139:23-34; James 1:5; 2 Chronicles 7:14; Matthew 26:41; Colossians 1:9-11; Psalm 32:5

[5] Acts 14:23; 1 Peter 5:1-3; 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13; Titus 1:9; Proverbs 27:23-24; Hebrews 13:17

[6] Ephesians 2:20-22; Colossians 3:16; Romans 16:17; Hebrews 10:23-25; 1 Timothy 3:15; Acts 9:31; 1 Corinthians 1:10

[7] Romans 8:5; 1 Corinthians 2:12

[8] Romans 12:2; Psalm 119:130

[9] Philippians 2:1-5; Colossians 3:12; Micah 6:8

[10] James 4:1-6; Romans 12:16; Job 11:14; Colossians 3:5-6

[11] Jeremiah 17:9; Romans 7:18; Ephesians 2:1-3; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

[12] Haggai 1:7; Psalm 32:5; Lamentations 3:40

[13] Matthew 7:3-5

[14] Luke 3:8; Matthew 7:16-20; James 3:17-18

[15] Romans 13:1; Hebrews 13:17; 1 Peter 2:13; Titus 3:1; 1 Corinthians 11:3

[16] Colossians 3:18-19; Ephesians 5:33; 1 Timothy 5:18; 1 Corinthians 15:33; Matthew 5:23

[17] Ephesians 5:21; Matthew 5:24; Mark 11:25; Matthew 18:15

[18] 2 Kings 19:14; Joshua 1:8; Acts 17:11; Matthew 22:29; 2 Timothy 2:15; Matthew 6:33

[19] Proverbs 12:15; Proverbs 24:6; Proverbs 28:26; Proverbs 13:20; Acts 18:24-26

[20] Philippians 4:6

[21] James 1:19

[22] Ephesians 4:29; Proverbs 16:24; Proverbs 15:4; Psalm 34:13

[23] Proverbs 4:23; Philippians 2:3; 1 Timothy 1:5; Proverbs 29:11; 2 Corinthians 10:5

[24] Ephesians 4:15; Ephesians 4:25; 1 John 3:18; Zechariah 8:16

[25] Titus 3:2; Romans 12:10; Colossians 4:6; Philippians 4:5

[26] Proverbs 28:1; 2 Timothy 1:7; 1 Corinthians 16:13

[27] Psalm 40:16; Isaiah 55:11-12

[28] Proverbs 11:13; Proverbs 25:9; Proverbs 16:28

[29] 1 Peter 3:8; Galatians 6:2; 1 Corinthians 12:26; Colossians 3:12

[30] Proverbs 4:25; 1 Peter 1:13

[31] Romans 15:5-6; Philippians 1:27; 2 Corinthians 13:11

[32] 1 Corinthians 1:10; Ephesians 4:3; Colossians 3:14; Romans 14:19

[33] 1 Timothy 4:12; Philippians 3:17; 1 Corinthians 11:1; Ephesians 5:1-2

[34] 1 Peter 4:10; Romans 12:11; 1 Corinthians 15:58

[35]  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

[36] 1 Thessalonians 1:4; 1 Corinthians 12:18



Pastor or Pope? An Article on Pastoral Abuse

The subject at hand is extremely controversial, and the ramifications of such an article will no doubt cause me open contempt, disrespect, and possibly the label of ‘heretic.’ Despite this, I cannot stay silent. It is necessary, yea vital, to present readers with a biblical perspective on the role and authority of the Pastor, especially in light of an increase in what can only be described as pastoral  abuse.  

The Roman Catholic religion has long been known for its ability to manipulate its members through fear and threats, allowing those in leadership to effectively control the people and their commitment to the cause. The power associated with the pope is beyond belief. Masses submit to his every wish, convinced that to disobey or even disagree, is to fight against God Himself. A similar ploy has entered into some conservative churches of our land. In these settings, the pastor will exalt himself to a place of power and inerrancy, demanding the allegiance of his people instead of turning their hearts toward God and promoting His sovereignty and authority.

All Men are Sinners

It does not matter how ‘good’ your pastor or church leadership may appear; all have sinned. There are pastors today who act as if they have reached the state of sinless perfection, and therefore represent the perfect example of holiness and wisdom. This is simply not true.

The shepherd does not gain some special entrance into the presence of God; He comes before the same throne of grace as all believers, and through the same person – Jesus Christ. He may preach from an elevated platform on Sunday but that is not an indication of spiritual superiority in God’s hierarchy. Pastors who seek the praise and accolades of men are not fit to fulfil the shepherd’s role. Surely a man who is perpetually broken over his sin and who has an understanding of the holiness of God, is the only suitable candidate for leading and shepherding God’s people.

‘…there is none that doeth good, no, not one.’ Psalm 14:3

‘Who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin?’ Prov.20:9

‘If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.’ 1 John 1:8
 

The Church is Christ’s

‘…Christ is the head of the church: and is the Saviour of the body.’ Ephesians 5:23

 ‘And He [Christ] is before all things, and by Him all things consist. And He is the head of the body, the church…’ Colossians 1:17-18

‘And hath put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be the head over all things to the church.’ Ephesians 1:22

If Scriptures were not so clear on this subject, I might be confused about who has the ultimate ownership and rule of the church. The way some pastors enthrone themselves, establishing non-biblical standards, and assuming the role of ‘Pope for the people,’ is appalling, and is in total opposition to the clearly outlined role of the shepherd in the Bible. To assume a role of authority in  Christ’s church that has not been given by God, is theft. If I instruct my congregation to obey standards and practices that God has not commanded, I become the ‘master of God’s people,’ and in turn teach them to follow me instead of the Lord.

How many congregations in our land are ruled by a dictatorial, ‘my-way-or-the-highway’ pastor instead of Christ and His Word being the final authorities in their lives?
 

It is the Message, not the Man

‘Remember them that have the rule over you, who  have spoken unto you the Word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation.’ Hebrews 13:7

Commenting on the above verse, John Gill writes: “Christ’s church is a kingdom, and He is King in it; pastors of churches are subordinate governors; who rule well when they rule not in an arbitrary way, according to their own wills, but according to the laws of Christ, with all faithfulness, prudence and diligence.”

 The pastor, like you and I, is a man saved by grace. He has not been imbued with some special ability (albeit there are gifts dispensed by the Holy Spirit which differ – Romans 12:6), nor does he have some supernatural power over men which is of his own energy.

The shepherd finds his authority solely in the Word of God. His counselling and preaching must be grounded in the Scriptures if he is to serve in the way that God has called him to. The pastor is a man who is to be given to prayer and the studying of the Word. I know pastors who busy themselves with all the tangible and temporal aspects of church life when they ought to be focusing on the spiritual and eternal matters at hand. The  first and most important job of the faithful shepherd is to preach the Word . He is to passionately pursue God, thereby leaving an example for his people. The following ought to form the pastor’s chief ambition and desire:

‘He must increase, but I must decrease.’ John 3:30

‘For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.’ Philippians 1:21
 

The Pastor will fail you

Nobody is exempt from the effects of sin. One of the great dilemmas in church today is the expectation on the pastor to do everything right. If the congregation is not careful to remember that the shepherd is only a man, they will inevitably and subconsciously elevate him to a place of  ‘perfection.’ This will be the great downfall of that church and will result in heartache and discouragement when it is found out that the pastor cannot meet those impossible expectations. This does not give license to the pastor to live as he pleases, but it does remove from him the unattainable standard of perfection. A humble and honest leader will acknowledge his own inability to perform his God given role, and will openly admit that he is the chief of sinners,  and unworthy of such a responsibility.

‘It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.’ Psalm 118:8

‘Thus saith the Lord; cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord.’ Jeremiah 17:5

 ‘…the Lord thy God…..He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Deuteronomy 31:6
 

Conclusion

Scripture teaches that God desires a pastor to lead by example, nurturing and caring for his people. When the time comes for him to discipline, confront and challenge, his only authority is  the Word of God, and only when as it is applied correctly. 
 
May God give us pastors who love Christ supremely, act with honesty, humility and integrity, lead by example, and find the basis of all preaching, teaching and counselling  in the pages of Scripture.


The Truth about Fellowship: Unity in Diversity

Reading: Philippians 4:1-9 | Preaching Text: Philippians 4:1-3

Introduction

We enter the final chapter of Philippians today, and it is filled with spiritual treasures.

True fellowship is exclusively available to those who are believers. It is made possible only through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

When real fellowship is experienced it is a foretaste of heaven. Believers living in harmony, mutual edification, deep worship, loving exhortation, humble reconciliation, and spurring one another on to greater sanctification is more precious than anything this world affords.

A church that is unified in love and doctrine can set the world on fire. Similarly, a church that is marked by conflict and division will impact the world negatively and severely hinder attempts to reach people with the gospel.

Acts 2-5 traces the origin of the early church. In these chapters we find believers meeting together daily, devoting themselves to Scripture, fellowship, the Lord’s Table, and even selling houses and lands for the benefit of the entire Body of Christ. However, Acts 6 begins with a complaint from the Greek speaking Jews who felt they were being unfairly treated.

In this example we observe how quickly issues can arise, and how important it is that the church as a whole exercise their commitment to true fellowship, dealing with differences, offences and conflict.

It is an utter inconsistency for those who are “in the Lord” to be at variance with one another. Christ does not permit it; the apostles would not allow it; and we must not legitimise it either.

In this sermon we are introduced to the kind of fellowship that Paul expressed, an important instruction he gave to the Philippian church, and his plea for unity in the midst of a broken relationship.

Join me as I preach a message entitled: The Truth about Fellowship: Unity in Diversity.

Fellowship Expressed

“Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved.” Philippians 4:1

Consider the change that grace wrought in Paul’s life. In Acts 9:1 Saul was breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord! Now consider his attitude toward Christians!

When the grace of God enters the soul of man, that individual will never again be the same. The sinner becomes a saint. The haughty become humble. The persecutor becomes the peace-maker. The murderer becomes a minister. The hater becomes a healer. The fiendish becomes the friendly. This alone is a work of God in the soul of man. Such is unmistakably seen in the life of Paul the Apostle.

Take note of the endearing terms used in this first verse: “brothers, love, long for, joy, crown, beloved.”

I’ve organised this verse into five small compartments which should help us to appreciate how fellowship is expressed.

  1. Spiritual Connection
    1. “Brothers” (not males, but brethren).
    2. The church is not a club. It is the household of faith. A living organism.
    3. Our “connection” is not based upon personalities, hobbies, ethnicity. Our fellowship rests entirely upon Christ and the salvation He has brought to us.
  2. Tender Affection
    1. “Whom I love” – A derivative of “Agape” which speaks of divine love. Not based upon appearance, commonality, loveliness, but dependent on the Spirit of God who pours out heavenly love into our hearts.
    2. “And long for” – Literally “yearned for”. This is the only time this word (in this form) is used in the Bible. Paul earnestly desires to be reunited with these believers.
    3. “My beloved” – Same as “whom I love” but repeated to emphasise his deep affection.
    4. Paul uses this word for “beloved” 27 times throughout his writings to describe the church! How he loved, cherished, and tenderly cared for the church.
  3. Present Joy
    1. “My joy” – Paul’s fellow-believers were a great source of joy. Knowing the reality of their faith and commitment to the gospel provided present comfort and peace.
    2. In writing to Thessalonica:For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? (1 Thess.2:19)
    3. Again Paul writes:For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God” (1 Thess.3:9)
  4. Future Reward
    1. “Crown” – There are a number of different Greek words for crown. This particular word (“stephanos”) is the victor’s crown for winning the race. It stands in contrast to the “diadema” which is the king’s crown.
    2. The Philippians were Paul’s trophy. His future reward, and the fruit of his ministry.
  5. Exhortation
    1. “Stand firm thus in the Lord” – This is not a suggestion, it is an imperative – a command.
    2. Paul does not operate as some dictator who barks out orders, he lovingly issues a command with the authority of heaven.


True fellowship involves each of these components: a real connection through Christ; tender affection made possible through the Spirit; present joy through unified faith and service; evangelism and discipleship which produces eternal fruit; and loving exhortation and instruction which finds its source in divine truth.

Steadfastness Instructed

“Stand firm thus in the Lord.” Philippians 4:1

To “stand firm” is to “keep one’s footing, persevere, to be unmoved.”

It is precisely the same word used in Philippians 1:27 – “Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel.”

The Christian is NEVER to stand still in relation to growth and service, but ever to stand fast as to faith, hope, love and the gospel!

What should the believer stand firm in?

They were to moor their spiritual lives to the unchanging truths of the gospel. Though there were many “enemies of the cross” (3:18) who would seek their destruction, they were to remember their “citizenship in heaven”, their glorious future, and the reality of the resurrection (3:20-21).

Paul’s command was simple: DO NOT DEFECT; do not turn to the left or the right; stay the course; Run the race; Persevere in the fight of faith.

The Bible is replete with commands to remain steadfast, and there are many promises made to those who endure.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

James 1:2-4 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Hebrews 10:36 For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.

2 Timothy 2:12 If we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us;

Revelation 3:11 I am coming soon. Hold fast what you have, so that no one may seize your crown.

Since a glorious future awaits the believer (3:20-21), let us press on and remain steadfast until He returns.

Unity in Diversity

“I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.” Philippians 4:2-3

Let me begin this third point with a shocking statement. Are you ready for this….?

The church is not inoculated from disagreements, disunity and dissent! All Christians are humans and like families, have tussles. Believers are still living in the flesh, and where people are involved, there will be problems.

James wrote:What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? (James 4:1).

One thing that we can all be assured of is that pride will always be at the centre of disunity.

King Solomon wrote:By insolence [pride] comes nothing but strife…” (Proverbs 13:10).

Even the blessed church of Philippi had problems with disunity.

Paul introduces us to two individuals in that local church: “Euodia (not Euodias) and Syntyche”.

All that we know of these individuals is found in these two verses.

Let’s get the facts straight first:

  1. Pronunciation: “You-o-dear” and “Sin-ti-chee” – It is a little humorous that at the centre of this conflict is “sin” and “o dear”!
  2. These were two women at variance with each other in the church at Philippi – Some believed that they were husband and wife, but the Scripture plainly says: “help these women”.
  3. The issue(s) that existed between these women was public enough for Paul to be made aware of it in a Roman prison, and the impact was serious enough for him to include it in this epistle.
  4. The word “entreat” is used twice indicating Paul’s STRONG desire for reconciliation to take place.
  5. Paul does not join sides in this issue, but simply pleads for their unity.
  6. Paul enlists the help of an unnamed individual to assist as a mediator between these women in the Philippian church (“true companion” v.3).
  7. Both of these women have worked alongside the apostle in gospel ministry in the past.
  8. Paul calls upon these women to “agree in the Lord” not necessarily agree in every sense!
  9. Both of these women are believers and named among others who are written in the Book of Life.


That gives us the facts. Now let me throw in some possibilities and implications:

  1. Euodia and Syntyche had some significance in the Philippian church and were likely deaconesses.
  2. The issues that exist were probably not doctrinal because Paul gives no specific instruction as he does on many other occasions. It is also hard to believe Paul would beg for unity when serious doctrinal issues exist. Although I cannot be sure, it is my contention that this was a “personality issue” which resulted in serious, ongoing conflict in the church.
  3. The issue between these women is probably not as big as the impact that their broken relationship has had on the church.


It is an
utter inconsistency for those who are “in the Lord” to be at variance. Although this occurs, it must not be sustained.

The desire for unity in the church is not only a Pauline notion.

Jesus prayed for unity in His church:

“And I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one.” (John 17:11)

Peter encouraged unity in the church:

“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” (1 Peter 3:8)

Paul appealed for unity in the church:

“I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.” (1 Cor.1:10)

David knew the Value of Unity:

“Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!” (Psalm 133:1)

Biblical Illustrations of Reconciliation or an Attitude of Forgiveness:

1. Jacob and Esau – Jacob had deceived his father into giving him the blessing which was rightfully Esaus. He also operated as an opportunist and convinced his brother to sell his birthright.

Esau had every reason to hate his brother and even exact vengeance on him in the form of death. However, instead of operating with this attitude, Genesis 33:4 says, “Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.”

2. Joseph and his brethrenThey sold him into slavery. He was left in a prison for years. When God allowed their paths to cross, Joseph did not exact revenge on them. Genesis 45:15 says, “And he kissed all his brothers and wept upon them”.

3. Jesus at the crucifixion – “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

4. Stephen at his death – “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60).

BEFORE WE CLOSE, I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A FEW MOMENTS TO DEAL WITH SOME SPECIFICS THAT SHOULD HELP US HERE AT MCCBC.

Disagreements, conflicts, hurts and offences are part of life and as a church we have and will continue to experience them. To help us work through these matters, I have produced a few questions and comments for us to consider.

Question 1

Is there a brother or sister in the Lord from whom you are estranged? I’m not asking whose at fault! I am asking whether an issue exists.

Remember, it is NEVER ok for disunity to exists between brethren.

Question 2

Am I willing to initiate reconciliation despite where the fault lies and regardless of how I think the other party will respond?

In other words, will I humble myself and be obedient to the command of Christ to be unified with the brethren?

Question 3

Can I absorb this issue in love and relegate it to the category of trivial without it having any impact on the relationship?

This requires honesty and a searching of the heart. Lots of people say “I’ll just cover this issue in love, but never do!

Question 4

If I say nothing, will this issue have ongoing repercussions to our fellowship? Grudges, bitterness, critical spirit, etc.

Question 5

Is this a biblical issue or a personality conflict? E.G. a man with long hair vs. clothes that don’t match. E.G. foul language vs. jokes that aren’t funny.

Question 6

Is this issue an offence which needs confrontation according to Matthew 18? Is this sin in the life of a brother or sister as defined by the Scripture?

Question 7

Is this “feelings-based” or fact-based? E.G. “I feel like you don’t like me” etc.

Question 8

Is this issue petty? Does it really matter?

Question 9

Have I prayed and searched my own heart for pride and bitterness? What is my motivation for confronting this person? To help them see how wrong they are?

Question 10

Am I willing to forgive the faults, flaws and offences motivated by Christ’s forgiveness of me (Ephesians 4:32)?

Question 11

Am I willing to suffer injustice and false accusation for the greater cause of unity and the furtherance of the gospel?

Question 12

Post-Reconciliation: Can I worship the Lord alongside the brother or sister with whom I have been reconciled? In other words, have all offences, sins, differences of opinion etc. been absorbed in the love of God?

Dealing with Issues in Practical Terms:

I don’t want to be too prescriptive. Here is a general “cheat-sheet” for restoration and reconciliation and they are all based upon Scripture principles and precepts.

  • Recognise the fragmentation – something is wrong.
    • Maybe a snide comment, an angry glare, or something else.
  • Seek the wisdom of God in prayer and in the Scripture.
    • Do not spring into action, fall on your knees!
  • Consider your ways and determine the state of your soul (inner man).
    • Take inventory of your own spiritual life (check for logs and specks).
  • Begin to identify any relationship breakdowns – find the roots (not the tree).
    • Don’t let your “feelings” govern this aspect!
  • Humbly and lovingly approach the individual.
  • Be swift to hear and slow to anger.
  • Speak the truth in love.
  • Enlist the help of a godly, unbiased mediator.
  • Sincerely seek forgiveness and restoration.
  • Worship together.

Let us be always ready to reconcile. Always ready to work through issues in love and humility. Always concerned with the testimony of Christ in His church. Keeping short accounts with Christ and one another.



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